Wishes

Today I wished for it to snow, and, without really expecting it, it did start to! I felt like a small happy child :)
I am in a period of my life when, once again, I am standing in front of roadblocks. Should I jump over them? Break them? Wait patiently for someone to come and open them? Just close my eyes and wish them away? I haven't decided yet, but I'm sure I'll find the right way to deal with them soon, very soon.
Meanwhile I am home for Christmas. Spending New Year's in London with a good friend.

Tech in class.

Do I use it in class? Technology I mean. I have to admit that I do so very little, if you consider the direct contact of students with the object of thechnology (a PC, the internet...).

Having a group for more than 1 level might help to implement the Dynamic Instructional Design model in class. I think it is a very clear, easy to follow way of seeing ones class and work, but I also have to say that it does imply a much more elaborated time use in ones class planing.

Shame

I kinda forgot my blog. Sorry people that have read it... I´m not gone, just somehow asleep!

Long Lost.

No, I hadn´t forgotten about my blog. I just had more important things to do...! But I am back to it. This time on a more happy note.

I just found out that my ex´s sister is going to have a baby, which will make him an uncle for the second time. I find it very nice. He seems to have mixed feelings about it. But seeing the way he is around David, I´m sure he´ll just love the second nephew or niece too!

And, yes, I seem to be getting to a topic related to him every time a write something... well...

I listened to some Romanian music last night and came across this song by Taxi... here is a part of it:

"Unde cauti tu,

unde cauti tu iubirea,

Nu stii ca e aici ?

Unde cauti tu,

unde cauti tu iubirea ?

Ea inca ma iubeste

aproape cat te iubesc eu pe tine

Cam cat il iubesti tu pe el.

Ea inca nu stie

ca nu mai stii nimic de mine

Crede ca-i totul la fel.

Am fost pe la ea aseara

sa imi aduc aminte

cum uitam de noi.

Si stii ce mi-a spus intr-o doara,

Stii ce mi-a spus ?

Mi-a spus asa...

Imi iau chitara

dar numai ca o aud pe ea

Incearca sa imi schimbe directia,

dar eu o aud pe ea,

Eu o aud pe ea,

eu o aud pe ea cum spune....

Ea inca ma asteapta

aproape cat te astept eu pe tine

Zi de zi, de zi, de zi, de zi, de zi...

Am fost pe la ea aseara

sa imi aduc aminte

cum uitam de noi.

Si stii ce mi-a spus intr-o doara,

Stii ce mi-a spus ?

Mi-a spus asa..."

I love this song. It says pretty much what I´d say at the moment!!!

What else?... Let´s see...

I am attending a TEFL course. Yes, learning how to teach English as well as possible! Six month of going back to school... Interesting...!

I am getting weird messeges from people I should never get such from and I don´t really know what to make out of them... confusion the waitress :)! I wonder why, why now, why me...? Guess these questiones are pretty much rethorical!

I have lunches and smokes and drinks and talks and laughs and giggles with people whose company I couldn´t enjoy more!

I look farward to partying with my Upper D students on Saturday after their last exam (great group by the way!!!).

I miss reading new pieces of genius writing that He writes.

I still wonder what to do during the 10 days vacation I have and hope to spend it with Fed and Kath camping.

I, I, I... sounds so egocentric! I´ll try to keep it to the minimum next time and write more about things that matter.

Anyway have to stop, as the pc I am using is already queued and, as Kath just said: "If it would only stop raining...".

closer

it is november 4th. i'll be going home in a little more than one month!!!

can any of you imagine how happy that makes me?!

no, probably you can't...

anyway... i've finally gotten a credit card, so i can buy my

ticket for december.

i had that weird flying dream again, as always i have problems with the electricity whires.

but it is a very cool feeling. i saw a city (medellin) from high up in the air at night!!! how cool is that?!

i'm reading a very good book, midnight's children, by salmon rushdie. it is great. i was reading two days ago about a kids game, snakes and ladders (suppose ya all know it) and it's possible meaning... snakes can help you get ahead too, not only make you slide down on them!!!

what else can i say...? i'm working, as usual, every day till 9 at night. have good groups at the moment. well, the teens are a bit challanging, but it's ok. makes one think and prepare more, which is good! that is work...

on a much more personal level, i am witnessing a love, that was never really mine, and is someone else's now. i don't wanna sound winy, i don't. i just got in touch with parts of my mind and heart, i never really knew existed before...!!! and now that they are out i can't controle them. they've gone bizarc.

it´s the gnoms´ fault!!!

I read a life on paper and partly witnessed it in real time. I enjoyed every word, phrase, metaphore that build it; as it is a witty entangled, unsteady thou firm, wind- and water- but not painresistent, dark, thou with a lit window here and there, offspringinging towards any open given direction tower of langauge (yes of language, as the real parts of it – feelings, phisical shape- remained hidden, failed to show strengthness; leavig in me a feeling of daydreaming).
I fell in love with a man built of he most amazing, scary, enchanting stories, stories, stories... stories... and I started reading them one by one (the ones that told about his eyes and the ones that spoke about his hands and hair and brain and dimples and feet and and...). I read ever single one without even taking one small breath in the process. I read until I became addicted to them, the stories and the man, as he is his stories.
Only now, after having read pages, chapters, novels, poems, bits and pieces... and never really knowig in which story I am, as they seem to tangle... I should stop. I need o stop. IT is starting to devore me, eating me, yet building me from inwards in and out and in again, leaving cuts and protuberances all over...
I wondered the grey stais of his tower so long, I managed to get lost, several times. I never got to be a part of it thou...!
But how do you just stop... reading, intaking, absorbing, when you know/fear there´s no other better written, more captivating story in this world; no other worthy of a Pulitzer or of a Literature Nobel; no other you see yourself becoming a part of...
How...???
....

(TE AMO F.)

nu am mai scris demult... nu s-au schimbat multe in viata mea!

lucrez intr-un proiect social, in cadrul institutiei. asta este un aspect pozitiv.

de saptamana trecuta predau iar pt un timp cursul de conversatie in limba engleza, ceea ce este super (am o mult mai mare libertate in ceea ce fac in timpul orelor; de fapt nu predau, ci doar... conversez :)).

i´d need to write, maybe just to get things out. on the other hand i am stuck. i am not a writer, neither can i always find the right words...

guess i´ll just head home and try to forget in other ways...

nici macar nu pot scrie un titlu (pagina de web pur si simplu nu ma place azi), nu ca as avea idee ce sa scriu... de fapt nu am un motiv anume sa scriu.

am fost super trista zilele astea (...sunt)

uitasem cum se poate percepe o relatie terminata relativ recent (8 luni impreuna), nu pentru ca tu ti-ai dorit! ...deloc placut!!! si mai ales daca persoana care te tine treaza noaptea si iti umple fiecare gand lucreaza in acelasi loc de munca... SI INCA IL IUBESTI... si il admiri cu toata puterea intelegerii tale, pentru ca este un barbat la care este o placere sa te uiti, pentru ca este inteligent, pentru ca este scriitor si te fascineaza ceea ce scrie, pentru ca este trist si tu stii ceea ce inseamna sa fii trista, pentru ca este el...!!!

am citit zilele trecute ceea ce a scris un bun prieten (Manu, super eseu?!) despre necesitatea de a comunica in momente cat se poate de, hmmm... neadecvate?! adevarul este ca asa m-am simtit in ultimul timp. prieteni care nu au timp, cand tot ceea ce iti doresti este sa auzi o voce cunoscuta...

am fost intrebata daca sunt fericita aici, in Columbia... si am inceput sa ma intreb ce inseamna sa fii fericita...??? ma incanta locul de munca! ma atrage ceea ce fac! m-am mutat intr-un apartament cu o camera unde ma simt super, desi cam singura...! am colegi care ma fac sa ma simt cat se poate de binevenita si care ma ajuta! DAR... imi lipsesc dragele si nebunele prietene de acasa! imi lipsesc aberatiile de la 12, 1, 2 noaptea! imi lipseste fostul prieten! daca pun toate aceste aspecte in balanta (zodia mea), sunt fericita? adevarul este ca nu am habar!!!

nu demult am trecut printr-o experienta ciudata, bizara si chiar de speriat. am constatat la un moment dat ca nu mai am lacrimi. am crezut pana in acel moment ca e doar ceva ce se spune in filme, sau cand esti foarte trist, dar, nu. chiar nu am mai avut lacrimi!!! am incercat. treceam printr-o perioada extrem de stresanta si trista, chiar m-am si gandit la lucruri extrem de triste. dar, nu!!! nu au vrut sa vina de nici un fel. nu puteam sa plang. credeti-ma este groaznic, devastator, te sperie, te intrebi...

ok. tre sa fug la ore. la partea din viata mea, care ma incanta!!!

on blogs and life!

I've been asking myself lately about the reason of starting an online journal.

There are many and none...!

A reaction it might be... a necessity.

A need to see my own words in a safe, yet public enviroment... a wake-up call for oneself...

Feels good thou!!!

.....

So, what have I been doing lately? Except of the usual working...?

Well, I've been there as much as possible for my very sick EX, whom I love beyond my own power of understanding (really, it is both scary and great...!!!). Being there when needed and trying not to show...!!!

...

Been for the first time in a turco - Turkish bath (can you believe one of my students didn´t even know that Turkey is a country...???!!!). Was veeerrrry hot, but nice!!!

...

I had a job interview. Still waiting for the answer... hopefully not 'till later than Thursday!... I'm both stressed and excited about it! Would mean more work, more responsabilities, not more money, but getting more work experience (by the way, the job would be of Academic Coordinator in a Colombian bilingual centre!).

...

that's it for now. got to prepare class...

fara

De ce unele persoane, doar prin combinatii intamplatoare (sau nu) de cuvinte intelepte (sau nu), pot atrage si vraji?
E nevoie de un scriitor cu talc (sau nu) pentru a atrage un scriitor (nu incape vorba scriitor!!!)?
... Si as vrea sa pot scrie..., cu talc. Vreau, insa cuvintele se incapatineaza sa nu iasa...

- fara data- -no date- - sin fecha- -ohne datum-

de toate

am sa scriu de data asta in romana, doar pt ca imi e dor sa scriu in a mea limba natala.
fostul meu prieten este in spital de duminica, cu o infectie renala. azi e miercuri si inca nu stie daca il mai tin in spital sau ii dau drumul azi. si chiar daca e fostul, tot am fost in spital cu el, cat am putut de mult, sa nu fie singur...

almost forgot... i have to write about my trip to the nevados, the highest point i´ve been to, up to now!!!

meaningless

Writing, throwing, words on a blog just to have a better impression about yourself...!!! ...and I don´t mean myself!!!

step into the unknown

...there I go, changing lodgings again... for the 4th time since my arrival in Colombia. Feels kind of nomadic...!!! I AM kind of nomadic!!!

At this point I have mixed feelings on the topic. It is an amount of stress connected to it. Thou there is also a bohemic and exiting touch to it...!!!

I´ll see what comes next, the moment it is here...

Nighty night, whoever you are reading these lines and wherever you are!

in front of a glass of wine

Last night, while having a glass of wine I remembered a nice memory of my childhood. I didn't think of it since it had happened...

As I grew up in a comunist country, being in the second grade of Primary every student had to be "named" a Pioneer. So had been I.

The ceremony took place in the hall of the Banat Museum in the city center. As my sister was 2 years more advanced then me in school (4th grade), I had the honor to have been named a pioneer by sis. To this day it is something to be proud of!!!

on dances

Russian dances, thou they express joy and happyness, are very violant in movement.

Arabian women are more sensual in their dancing moves than latin salsa, cumbia.... dancers, who have rythem in their blood, but only stick to the one geneticaly transmitted body vibration.

I've been a dancer myself for over 11 years (not a born one... not arabic or latin... :) ), but I've never theoratized dance before. It is an interesting thought.

...

...out of necessity words are born.
...out of words pain is born.
...out of pain a new path...
I´m looking for it these days!